Exhaustion: Take 35

Saying that I am tired is an understatement.  I am completely and utterly exhausted.  I'm not that old.  I'm in my mid 30's, but it's clear that I'm not twenty anymore.  At the beginning of this year, I decided to overhaul my life.  I've been stuck on a career path I despise for eight years now.  It's time for change.

 

Change is way harder than I thought it would be!

 

I was a stay at home mother for ten years.  I loved being at home with my boys.  Then when both of my children were in school, it was time to go to college and choose a career path.  In this I felt quite pressured to help provide for our family.  I love to learn, but had no idea what I wanted to do career-wise.  After toying with a couple different majors, I finally made a decision.  The decision wasn't made out of love for the subject matter, but in a fashion very un-like my normally passionate self.  There was high potential for a great income, and I was really good at it and excelled easily.  It was a fast degree that quickly lead to easy money.

 

Eight years later, I was unhappy, stuck alone behind a computer for 40 hours a week, commuting out of town for this miserable job, and becoming ill with stress and anxiety about my dead end life.  Conclusion: money isn't worth this level of unhappiness.  I became desperate to find my joy again.

 

Thus: the big change.

 

I'm still working full time at my crap-tastic government job.  I have great benefits and incredible pay.  I am also going to night school so I can leave it all behind.

 

Monday through Friday I get up at 5:30amand head out into my crazy schedule, getting home at 10:00pm each night.  Commute, work, speed lunch, work, commute, school, commute, crash into bed, rinse and repeat.  It's been a few months and my body and mind are finally adjusting, although I am still exhausted on the weekends.  If I'm not busy with house cleaning, cooking or errands, I'm asleep.

 

I miss my friends and family, I miss working out, I miss evenings with my boys, I miss leisure activity.  In the end, it's worth it.  I keep telling myself life will return to normal (maybe be even better?) once school is finished.  I'll be working in a field I enjoy and am passionate about, I will have a more flexible schedule, and the atmosphere will be much more positive and up-beat.  I am beyond excited to reach my goals.

 

December, baby.  Time is flying.  It'll be here lickety-split!  I just know it. ;)